Monday, August 19, 2013

OOTD: Burn Away

Skirt: ASOS Curve
Belt (worn as bracelet): Forever 21+
Tights: Pretty Polly
Shoes: Madden Girl

Yesterday, Mrs. Spookshow & I took Bridget down to visit her grandparents as well as meet the extended family, and this is what I wore. I picked up this top last week from Forever 21+, and it's awesome! I was kinda rushed out the door in the morning, so I decided to take my OOTD photos down at my parents house, which turned out to be a pretty great location, eh? 

I've been feeling pretty depressed and emotionally drained recently, though I'm not sure why. As such, I really wasn't feeling up to dealing with a lot of the bullshit I was likely to receive from the extended family over my attire, and suffice to say I didn't really have a very good day. I don't really want to get into it here on the blog, but I do feel it's important to point out that I was indeed the recipient of some verbal abuse and otherwise shitty actions. Though I'm usually pretty fortunate with regards to trolling / abuse from my sartorial decisions, sometimes I get to experience the less good side of it all, and it can be hard to deal with. I'll be okay, though; I just need some time to regenerate my shields, so to speak. 

Anyhow, I do think this outfit is pretty fabulous, so there's that at least, haha.

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  1. I just love that skirt!!

  2. Hi there, I think your outfit looks amazing, and as always I love your legs and the fact that you manage to look so damn sexy. I'm so sorry that you had a hard time, especially from people who should love you enough to shut up!! We love you and hope that you're soon back to full on fab.
    X Bridg

    1. Thank you. I really appreciate all the compliments! Rest assured that I'm back and ready to rock, haha. Keep rockin'! <3

  3. Another great outfit -- looks comfy! I'm sorry to hear you got some hassle, and continue to be impressed with how you stand by your (totally harmless, fun, nobody's business) point of view. Keep on keepin on!

    1. Thanks! Yeah, it was a pretty fun outfit. The skirt continues to just kill; I really want to make some similar skirts in other colors. Keep rockin'!

  4. I wish I knew you IRL so I could give you a hug. I've been on your end of family criticism and it royally sucks. Apparently being a woman and shaving your head but not your legs and pits is a reason to be rude to said woman. My FIL straight up told me that I'm not attractive him, I'm not attractive to any man, and my husband doesn't find me attractive (he does).

    Throw into the mix my son that loves wearing skirts and dresses and, well, let me just say that I let my bitch out when I need to.

    I hope things change for you soon. Just know that you have a fan base here in InternetLand and we're all rooting for you.

    1. Hey, Krista. Thanks for sharing this here. I'm really sorry about that; what a terrible thing to say to someone! I happen think ladies with shaved heads are awesome, but hey. I'm really glad you let your son express and enjoy himself, too.

      Though very rarely it can be hard for me to remember, criticism from said family members really doesn't mean shit to me. We pretty disagree on everything, right down to the very core of our beings, so it's really just fire off a dragon's back, you know? It wasn't a big deal to me, I just felt it important to share here on the blog just to show that I don't always receive positive reactions.

      Anyhow, thank you! Keep rockin'!

  5. Hi Michael,

    Great outfit, i like it! (especially the skirt)
    I don't usually react to your postings, although i read them with great interest. But for this time i want to express my concerns.

    I'm sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing, but unfortunately it is not uncommon. The way you dress is considered 'transgender', and although you may not classify yourself as such, the majority of people does. I'm not here to start a discussion about wether people who promote freestyle fashion are transgender or not, even though i look similar to you when i'm dressed. Fyi: I do consider myself as transgender, or more specific, a transvestite.

    The thing i wanted to share with you is that people tend to classify you (and me) as transgender or transvestite. As a result of the status difference between men and women, people tend to look down on men who dress feminine. I don't want to discuss the why's and mechanism behind it (although i could if you are interested), but the general result is that people look down on you for being transgender. What happens is that they (subconciously) grant you a lower status, and they treat you accordingly. Basically it means that you are a inferior creature to them.

    This does not nescessarily have to have a negative effect on the people you meet on the streets. As long as you look good, you make a good first impression to them and they may give you a nice reaction. Most women tend to like it when men look good in feminine clothing. But they don't know you and they don't have to deal with your physical appearance every day. Usually the people who are closest to you give the most problems, which the issue with your extended family illustrates. After all these people do know you and do have to deal whith you.

    Fortunate enough your wife seems to support you, and also your work collegues seem tolerant enough not to criticize you. Did you know that you are actually very lucky to have these circumstances? Most transgendered people loose both their job and their relation when they come out of the closet, or have at least serious problems in these areas.

    What i'm trying to say is that these problems are real and won't go away. You say you need some time to recover, to regenerate your shields as you said.

    I'm worried about you, Michael, I really am. I admire what you do, but i am seriously worried about where this is going to. Your shields will continue to be attacked, and i'm afraid they will weaken over time until you won't be able to rebuild them anymore.

    You may think that i am being to gloomy, and hopefully you are right. But consider this: From scientific research we know that transgenders are continuously suffering from the results of their lower status. Bullying, abuse, discrimination and exclusion at work and in the family atmosphere are common practice. We also know that people who live openly transgendered tend to die earlier. Most common death causes are heart attacks and suicide. The underlying cause is most likely psychosocial stress. You can probably imagine why these people experience such stress.

    I'm afraid this won't end, Michael. As i've said before you are incredibly lucky to have the support of your wife and your collegues at work. This is a tremendous help for you and it makes your position much stronger. But as this incident shows, there is a lot of intolerance below the surface around you.

    On the other hand, society seems to be moving slowly to more acceptance and the female status is slowly becoming equal to the male status. This has a positive effect on the acceptance and i think there is a noticably difference in the reactions i receive now from people on the streets now and 25 years ago. So there's hope, and the only way to make our position stronger is to show ourselves to the world. Therefore i admire you because i think you actually contribute to more acceptance.

    Hold your shields up, Michael! I wish you all the best and good luck!

    1. Hey, Treintje! Thanks for taking the time to write such an in depth response here. I appreciate it.

      I'm quite familiar with the issues that transgender individuals face. It's something that I've researched, followed, and just generally been interested in for many years. Although I don't tend to experience much gender dysphoria, and have no plans to transition, I'm well aware that I do fall under the trans label. I try not to get too caught up in labels and groups, but yeah.

      I've written several essays here on the blog specifically about how femininity is regarded as lesser in society and why that's terrible, and you can find links to all that type of stuff at the top o' the blog. I've been meaning to put a lot more effort into that style of writing here, but I have entirely too many hobbies that get in the way of my free time.

      I appreciate the concern, but rest assured that I'm all good. The emotional drain and general blahness I was feeling actually had nothing to do with my sartorial choices or reactions to it; I'm just a bit of a reclusive introvert, and sometimes I just get in moods where I don't really want to partake in much social interaction. I'm typically very confident and great at just flat out not giving a fuck what people think or say about me, but during my brief antisocial periods I just feel a bit drained, and it's harder to do that. It's never really a big deal, and I'm always pretty quick to bounce back.

      I definitely agree that the only way to move towards more acceptance and such is to be out there, which is why I started the blog in the first place. I think some good progress has been made recently, but really for me if I've managed to help just one person find that little bit of confidence they had all along that allows them to be themselves, then it's all worth it.

      Anyhow, thanks for the compliments and concern. I appreciate it. Keep rockin'!

    2. Hi Michael,

      I'm glad to hear that you're all good. Good to hear that you 've taken the time and effort to research the subject. It always helps to know what you are dealing with and where you stand as it helps to see the things in a realistic perspective. Unfortunately most people don't take this effort and the result is that they are often way too optimistic about the outside world. And to those people the confontation with reality can be real hard.

      I 've already read your essays some time ago so i have a general idea about your thoughts on the subject. Although you observe things nicely, i am sort of missing the link with transgenderism. (i know you 've written some things about it, but not in too much depth and you are mostly focussing towards freestyle fashion. Therefore i was afraid that you might be one of those over-optimistic people. Please forgive me for being overanxious :-)

      Anyway: I admire you for your courage to be yourself. Also my compliments to your blog. I like reading it and i think you have a good taste for fashion.

      You keep rockin too!

  6. Honey, they are just jealous of dem legs!!! You always look hot. And, doesn't it give you a little satisfaction to know that you are causing people to confront their prejudices? I understand how it could be draining, however. Well, I for one think you always look great and would be proud to walk alongside you anywhere, even if you would make me look frumpy ;).

  7. This photoshoot is GEORGOUS, seriously !
    I really admire you, you're beautiful !

  8. Looks great. Would look much better as a casual bare leg look than with any hosiery. Get some flats. Those heels are another negative. As you may suspect, I am a casual skirt, shirt & sandal sort of guy.

  9. That skirt and those tights were 100% made for you

  10. Oh please,You look so good in this outfit don't change a thing Love them legs and heels wish I could be there to see you in that sexy skirt. great outfit "Keep wearing Pantyhose" don't ever go bare yuck