Tuesday, January 22, 2013

OOTD: Unite

It appears I'm on a bit of a pink kick, guys. As promised, I'm back today with a new OOTD, likely the finale OOTD before baby Spookshow arrives in the world. Let's get to it!

Dress: Forever 21+
Tights: Hudson City via UKTights.com
Shoes: Madden Girl

Similar to my last OOTD, this is another one of those dresses that I'm usually a bit gun shy about, but pulled the trigger on due to Cyber Monday sales. As I've said here many times, I'm a totally sucker for color block, and lately I've really come to embrace the awesome of the color pink, so I just couldn't resist. I'll admit I've kinda been saving this dress for a bit, as I just really love it, but today is the day, ya'll!

I've talked a little bit about body positivity here on the blog, but I'd like to talk a little more about it here for clarity. You see, in the past I've shied away from body hugging dresses like this one, even though I've seen a lot of them that I've loved. We all have those areas that we'd like to improve, or aspects of our shape that we aren't happy with. For me, I sit pretty firmly in the apple shape department, and it's not something I'm particularly happy about, but it's what I have. I feel like I'm digressing on the point I wanted to make here, so I'm just going to get straight to it. Conventionally, there's a lot of folks who adhere to certain rules or guidelines are what you should or shouldn't wear based on your body shape, in an effort to wear things that are flattering. Well, I'm going to come right out and say that I usually find that term, flattering, to be just a nice way of saying less fat. That's bullshit.

Honestly, I don't want to take away from this OOTD with a rant about fashion rules, so to bring it back to this dress, I know I'm showing some visible belly line (VBL in net slang) here. Now, I could spend a lot of time obsessing over it, and trying to dress in things that hide or flatter (there's that word again) it, but what I've come to realize is that even if I do that ... it's still there. That's where body acceptance comes in, and it's all about accepting your flaws as well as your assets. So, instead of spending so much time worrying about what's flattering, I'll just be over here rocking the hell out of this fantastic dress, okay?

This blog is all about accepting yourself and finding the power to be who you want to be, despite opinions and preconceived notions of what you are "supposed" to be. In my mind, body acceptance is just as important in that mission as breaking gender stereotypes is. I don't consider myself a trendsetter or even a fashionista, I'm just a boy in a dress with a blog trying to inspire others with the confidence to be yourself in a world that often tries to tear that down. Sorry for derailing this OOTD a bit, but I needed to get that off my chest.

I wore this outfit to lunch today with Mrs. Spookshow and some friends of ours. Occasionally, I receive emails or comments asking about the reactions I get in public dressed like this, or more pointedly assuming that I must be brave for wearing this and no doubt facing a sea of negativity. I sometimes worry that the folks who send me those messages must read a lot into my posts when I don't talk about any experiences in public, but the truth is that I always write about any events of note. I know you might think that surely a man wearing something as bold (for lack of a better word) and in your face against the gender stereotypes of our society would face a soul-crushing amount of adversity or negativity should he dare to leave his home in it, but in my experience that hasn't been the case. I could (and probably should) write a post specifically about this topic, so I'll just say here to not assuming I face negativity unless I post about it. Absolutely nothing negative of any note occurred while I was out in this attire today, in fact I actually received several compliments. 

I talked a lot about these shoes in a previous post (specifically, here), so I won't retread that here (har, har). I really love how this photo turned out! I'm pretty sure I'd die for these heels, ya'll. Just sayin'.

It occurs to me now that I've spent this entire post not actually talking about this outfit. Ooops. Really though, I think the photos can carry that conversation if need be. Suffice to say, I absolutely adore this dress, and I felt like these shoes would pop like crazy with it. I feel like I've achieved a pretty great look here, and as I said in a previous OOTD, I feel like recently I've really started to come into my own sartorially. I guess I sorta just feel like I've finally found my fashion voice, and apparently it's a bright shout in the face of gender conformity. Keep rockin', everyone!


  1. Totally rockin' it! Personally I don't care for pink, but I'm glad you've discovered it because I am loving how it looks on you. I totally get what you mean about the road to body positivity. My own hang-up for a while was my wide hips (which also make finding clothes that fit well challenging!) - but you know, if I want to wear a pencil skirt instead of an a-line or full skirt, well I'm going to do just that. It's totally my choice how I dress and "flattering" is just one thing to take in to consideration when wearing what makes me happy.

  2. I loved this post and I love your mission to inspire others by being yourself without compromise. It definitely inspires me!


  3. Oh my god, Michael, you have been KILLING IT lately with the black and the grey and the hot pink. Your style is so different from mine (there's not much "hard" in my "hard femme") but your outfits make me want to explore toughness and try it on!

  4. I like the dress, the grey sides do allow the eye to be pulled toward the center making you look more slender and shapely. The hot pink rocks and you carry it off well. The only thing about your whole fashion statement thing that mystifies me is why anyone, male or female, would deliberately wear high heels. Ouch! These do look sensational and I give you kudos for being able to walk in them. :)

  5. It gives me SO much hope for my life that you don't get that "sea of soul-crushing negativity". Because I really fear going on testosterone and being a visibly femme man and facing that, ouch, sometimes I just sit and panic and cry because I feel like that's going to be my life.

    So... to hear that you get compliments makes me feel like my life is gonna be okay after all. :)

    Also I totally agree about "flattering" meaning "less fat" and just, fuck that. Fuck "flattering", I do what I want. I am fat, why should I hide it and pretend to be someone I'm not? I have multiple belly rolls that are often visible... the only reason I don't make my shirts as tight as possible is because I don't feel comfortable with my chest and hips, as a pre-hormones trans guy. But I make up for that with my skinny jeans... even if I might start looking a bit "disproportionate". Who says what "proportionate" is, though?

    I'm learning to love pink too. I used to hate it because I felt like I should. Now I'm loving bright pink lipsticks and nail polishes!

  6. It's awesome to hear you face so little negativity! I long for the day we can all do gender just as we like. So saying: I am a feminine cisfemale (my presentation does not challenge gender roles in any way) who likes to rock a pretty mild alterna/goth look, and i get at the least plenty of foul looks pretty much every day i go out in public.

    I would hazard a guess that due to the fact you look rather imposing (male, strong etc) people probably keep their negativity to themselves a bit more than they might if you were short and scrawny for eg. Of course there is fact you always look so damn fabulous, what is there to be negative about!? ;).