Friday, March 9, 2012

A Wife's Perspective on Men's Fashion Freedom

Hello all, Mrs. Spookshow here. I am writing this to address some questions and other things I think others might want to know about being the wife of a man in a dress. [And this is Michael Spookshow, adding my commentary throughout.]

Mrs. Spookshow, taken moments after I proposed to her. Yes, I carved "Will you marry me?" into a plastic pumpkin.
First, yes, Mr. Spookshow and I are married and live a life typical of that. I have had some friends look at me askance after seeing pictures of  my husband's fashion choices online. I have fielded questions from them ranging from simple to borderline offensive. I take all of this to heart so much more than Michael Spookshow. He truly lives the motto of be who you are, no matter what others think of you. This makes me so very proud, and I wish I could be more like that myself. 

I often feel I should protect him even though he doesn't need it. There are times we have been out in public and I have shielded him from a jerk sneering and trying to take a pic with his phone or from others that don’t even try to hide their laughing and pointing. [I spoke briefly on this situation here.] I look forward to the day when he can wear what he wants and no one is rude. We all have our own style; why should it be limited by what department it's sold in?

That being said, to be honest it took me a little bit to warm to the skirt and dress thing. I think that was mainly because I have had men I have dated in the past that turned out to be gay. There's nothing wrong with that, but it was a bit of a shock to the system. I had a conversation early on with Michael, however, and he assured me that he has absolutely no interest in men. [It's true, hell I don't even like men's clothes, ha!] Since he has never been anything but completely honest with me, I have taken him at his word. [The ingrained (and often erroneous) mental connection between men wearing skirts and being gay is something I want to talk about in an essay soon. Thanks for the inspiration, Mrs. Spookshow!

It took a bit of an adjustment period, but eventually I saw that I could help him in his quest for fashion freedom. Most women’s dresses & tops simply aren't made to fit men, but being a seamstress and costume designer I knew I could help there! [Mrs. Spookshow has been an awesome help, just check out this photo!

This dress was made for me by Mrs. Spookshow. She altered the pattern to fit my male body shape.
I have had pretty good success so far in adapting things to fit his body shape. The main area for modification on women's garments to fit a man has been the bust area. Whereas most women wish to accentuate this area, for him we want to detract. The other area of focus has been the hips, some because he is a guy (and thus has a smaller waist to hips ratio than most women) and some due the fact he is plus size. Speaking of ...

One awesome aspect of having a husband who wears skirts & dresses (and who is pretty close to my size) is that I get to share his clothes! [There's a lot of jealous girls on Tumblr now, ha!] Of course, he could share mine if he wished but I am a little smaller and my job pretty much entails jeans and a tee shirt by necessity, so that's what I tend to wear. So, more often than not I borrow his clothes, especially if we are dressing up to go out on a date!

Taken before we went to dinner for our second anniversary! Coincidentally, this dress is actually hers, though, ha!
If you'd like to reach Mrs. Spookshow, you can leave a comment for her below or you can email her at hisblackdress@gmail.com and I will make sure she sees & replies.

28 comments:

  1. Mark From Brisbane Queensland AustraliaMarch 09, 2012

    If we had more people like you in this world, the world would be a better place, yes I'm a gay fellow in Brisbane Australia but like I say you don't have to be a gay guy to wear skirts and dresses, you should go to Fiji, men wear a garment called sulu, it's sort of like a traditional sarong or something like that, very colourfull I might add too, he looks good in what he's in, in a tastefull way, I only wish I had the curage to do the same as he is doing right now.

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    1. Thanks for the kind words we both appreciate the support. He tries really hard to be tasteful some outfits I have to veto but thats okay you only learn if you try

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  2. "If we had more people like you in this world, the world would be a better place" I concur with Mark, tho I'm straight, or I was for you see I'm a crossdresser who over the years,It has become more comfortable and natural feeling to dress up like and express a female presentation. It reduces my stress, makes life more enjoyable, and in a nutshell, simply makes me feel more alive, period.
    I feel that it's 2012 NOT 1800's and think that both sexes should be able to wear what they wish and I hope with the help of woman like your self this will come about, equality in fashions with gender being removed from clothing, just human beings wearing what they love. You are fabulous Mrs.Spookshow and your hubby is very lucky to have you.

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    1. Absolutely! Anyone should be able to wear what makes them happy. You keep doing what you do and the rest of the world will catch up eventually.

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  3. Dear Mrs. Spookshow,
    I think what you are doing is amazing and the exact thing a loving wife should do. You support your husband in any way and that is awesome. I think it's not really comparable, but when my husband first came to Germany (and I live in a really really small town) it was sometimes hard for me that everyone was staring at him as he come from Shanghai, lived a long time in Tokyo and just really is used to be fashionable and extravagant at times. But by now I ignore looks from others and just dress up myself and we live and love very happily together ^^
    I wish you two all the best!

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    1. That's what everyone should do we all need love and support I know Mr Spookshow supports me in what I need too I am sure your husband does the same. I wish you both all the best and just keep enjoying each other.

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  4. I am so glad to see that you are supportive of your husband. I hear my wife tell me all the time that she "loves me" but I kind of wonder sometimes. If I was to try to go out with her and wear a skirt she would not go. I think and feel the same way your husband does. I don't see a sex assigned to a peace of clothing what I see is a peace of clothing that I like and think I would look good in. There have been more than a few times I have been out with my wife wearing womens jeans and high heels and once my wife sees someone looking at me she goes off the deep end. I have tried to tell her many times that I don't need her to protect me. I am comfortable with who I am and I know I'm not gay I have chosen to be with her for her not who she wants me to be why can she not do the same. No mind you while I do feel I look good in a skirt I don't wear them much just because I know I can't wear them out with her. If I had the support of her like you give your husband I would hardly ever wear pants. And after a recent event where I almost lost my life in a car accident I am now more than ever determined to be who I am for myself. My new moto is this "Those that mind don't matter, those that don't mind do!" maybe someday I can have you talk with my wife and see if maybe you can help her to understand people like me and your husband better. Thanks for all your support and keep fighting the good fight.

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    1. All you can do is live life to it's fullest. I admit fully it took me a little to warm to his attire. I felt the urge to protect him and that will never go away but the more we go out with him in a skirt I realized that not nearly as many people give dirty looks as you think. Be brave and above all be honest. I hope you find the support that you need.

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  5. You two are both awesome. Thanks for the blog and the flickr account :)

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    1. Thanks so much! I can't wait to make him more outfits to post!

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  6. Reading this makes me smile! There's so much tied up in gender and clothing--and somehow sexuality gets tied up in the mix, even though gender performance and sexuality may sometimes correlate, but certainly not on a one-to-one basis.

    Anyhow, I started going off on a long tangent about all that, but here's not the place for that. Suffice to say that I appreciate hearing your perspective, Mrs. Spookshow, and I'm really happy you're both around the internet. It lifts my heart after a trying day.

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    1. Thanks for posting this, Mia! Mrs. Spookshow asked me to tell you thank you for your comment. I'm glad we can make you smile!

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  7. ChalytitchApril 03, 2012

    Wish there were more people like you out there folks. I am a similar straight man who enjoys wearing skirts, heels, dresses, tights etc. and fortunately have a very supportive wife and a number of open minded close friends too, for whom dressing isn't an issue. I'd like to add here that I don't take myself too seriously either, so I'm happy for them to take the mick from time to time!
    So I am a lucky boy, but it would always be nice to just go out anywhere wearing anything (tasteful of course) and not have to worry about what people might think or how it might reflect on your family though. So keep up the campaign guys...I'm not trying to threaten anyone else or chellenge their sexuality, I just want a bit of clothes freedom!
    Love the site...

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    1. Thanks for sharing this here, Chalytitch. I appreciate it. Keep on rockin' your style, man!

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  8. Thanks for changing minds! Great, great, blog.

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  9. I really appreciate the person who has written such a wonderful blog. Your simple use of language and no frills
    makes the post a great read.

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  10. that is a wonderful photo of you both. also, i love the dress in the 1st photo - the fabric, the style

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    1. Thanks, James! We appreciate the compliments!

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  11. you are so lucky in having a wife who helps you to be yourself, good luck in the future.

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  12. AnonymousJune 02, 2012

    I LOVE your black dress! You look great in it! kudos to Mrs. Spookshow! [I'm a straight woman, visiting here for the first time - I saw a link in a plus size fashion forum]

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    1. Thank you for the compliments! I'm glad that you enjoy the blog!

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  13. I love both of you. You look fantastic on being fashionable. I would agree with the comments, you are so blessed and lucky in having a wife who helps you to be yourself. :-) Is He wearing a mens designer jeans?

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    1. Thanks, Josh! I really appreciate it.

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  14. You are such an inspiration!

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